Keyboard's just a'clicking...

Hakuna Matata

lol...I knew my last post would cause an outbreak of comments from those who know me, but ladies, no worries...I'm five months older. I've had five long months to think about the ENTIRE situation and be COMPLETELY honest with myself about it for once...besides, the closer I get to 30, the less crap I'm able to handle.

So, I called and he answered. When I heard his voice, I'll admit that I felt a hint of "I've missed him", but the feeling of "we're not doing this again" was a lot greater. The conversation pretty much went the same way I've heard it many times before...nothing was new, of course, and this time he did 95% of the talking. There was the "we've been friends for too long to be mad at each other", the "I've been thinking about you a lot", and the ever popular "I'm sorry". I've repeatedly heard these sentences as I've known him the last thirteen years of my life. The conversation was short...maybe about five minutes since I was at an event and he was obviously busy as well, but when I woke up the next morning, I noticed that I missed another call from him later in the evening, which I didn't feel the need to return.

I'm not going to write about my experiences with him over the last thirteen years because it has DEFINITELY been an emotional rollercoaster, but I will say that I believe I'm at a stage in my life where I've gotten off the ride while leaving the anger and bitterness in the seat...maybe that's why I called back. Who knows? Maybe we both needed that five minute conversation to move on. I have missed him, but I know that it is a combination of missing who he was years ago and missing the person I wanted him to be, not necessarily missing who he is now.

So, that's what it is now...I guess once we have our long talk where we are both completely honest with each other, we'll be ok. But, I honestly don't see that happening...

posted by Madeehah @ 4:59 AM