An honest hour
The other day I had a thought that I’ve never had before, which was that I wanted to stop covering my hair. Then, an hour later, I turned back to my normal self and came to my senses. But, for one full hour, I truly considered it. It wasn’t that I wanted to stop covering in an effort to denounce my religion or anything, and in no way do I feel "oppressed". I just hate the fact that I want to style my hair, but am forced to always rock a ponytail because of my scarf. I know that is a horrible reason for wanting to take the scarf off, but it was the honest truth. Four years ago, I decided to loc my hair and I love them. I love them even more when they are curly and cute. I can’t curl them because once I pull them back into a pony tail and wrap my hair, they flatten out, which sucks, which means if I want to "cuten up" I have to wash my hair on a Friday or Saturday night so it's nice and wet, roll it, and let the curls fly the next day while I'm in the house. Which means I would have to cancel all plans for that day so I can be curly and cute in my house...I know this may seem a little crazy to some of you readers, but I'm just saying what I felt. After my hour was over, I thought about other Muslim sisters and wondered if anyone ever had the same thought or a related one regarding something else they felt they couldn't do. I mean, I started the everyday covering in 7th grade, so it's been a long while (16 years) since I went out the house without my scarf on, which is why I'm wondering if that's where the brief breakdown came from.I just wish there were certain weeks or months in the year when it is mandatory for men to stay indoors so women can go out and feel the sun on their skin and the wind in their hair.
Anybody ever felt the same about this or something else?
posted by Madeehah @ 8:39 PM
3 Comments:
I think we all have moments when we reconsider wearing the hijab. I think moreso if you were born into Islam and just started covering as habit not really as a deliberate choice. Sometimes I do think about going out without my scarf-but honestly-it feels so weird without a scarf on my head I tend to wear small scarves even indoors with my family. Anyway, I really just wanted to say-nope you're not the only one!
Yes, I agree! Even if your parents made you since you were like, 2, you still think about it. I know its kinda wierd, I used to be more fanatical about it, like *GASP* DONT EVER LET A GUY SEE YOUR HAIR EVEN FOR A SECOND!!!! But as I get older I realize that its the concept of the thing thats more important, so if say, it slips off or something in public for a second, Im not as flabbergasted, lol
I am suffering from this crazy feeling for about two days, and just my son today told me, 'Mom, you should be able to let go of your scarf sometimes, if you want to", noticing my frustration over my hair----ugly and flat, under my scarf. what do you think about the timing of your post. Yes, I wish to have days called SCARF-FREE days.
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